


Through the cracks

by moonlights0nata



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post ep 62/63 kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16573496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights0nata/pseuds/moonlights0nata
Summary: It's not so easy to be over what hurt you. Nightmares can be a powerful reminder.





	Through the cracks

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this around the time episode...62? 63? came out, with the Blood Shepherd vs Soulburner duel. So timeline wise it could be set around there / post duel.
> 
> Slowly writing more of these two because I love them <3 Hope you enjoy!

Yusaka learned the hard way not to touch Takeru when he’s having a nightmare. He felt so  _ stupid _ afterwards because he  _ knew _ what Takeru was dreaming about, and he should have been more careful.

One moment his hands were grasping Takeru’s shoulders, calling out to him and the next his face was being swatted away roughly by an arm. He winced, the force of the hit shoving him against the closet at his back. He cradled his bruised cheek for a moment, holding himself steady with his free hand and blinked quickly, trying to compose himself before reaching for the lamp Takeru kept behind the futon.

“What--” Takeru’s voice, winded, spoke beside him and when he turned to look he was staring back at him, pale and sweaty. He was shaking but his eyes weren’t distant, like he was somewhere else, he was  _ here _ but terrified. His eyes looked over at Yusaku’s bruised cheek and he choked.

“Oh god,  _ Yusaku _ \--” He moved to reach over for him, for his injured face but jolted back just as quickly, shaking his head. “I-I’m so sorry--I--” His voice trembled, cracking over a sob and he buried his face in his hands, nails digging into his hairline. “I didn’t--I thought it was--I’m  _ sorry _ \--”

“Takeru.” Yusaku spoke firmly, but gently. “Breathe. It’s fine.”

“It’s not-- _ fine _ \--” He curled on himself, his voice coming out breathy and weak. He was losing himself. “That monster was there and I wanted to--tried to--I--I was--”

“You were having a  _ nightmare _ and thrashing around, this wasn’t your fault.” Yusaku tentatively reached for Takeru, hands wrapping around his wrists. Takeru flinched but didn’t swat him sway so Yusaku pulled to pry his hands from his face. “Takeru. It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m okay. You’re safe, here, with me.”

Eyes overflowing with tears and fear peeked up at him and although it twisted Yusaku’s heart painfully he tried his best to keep his voice even, comforting. “You have to breathe. Okay? With me, come on.”

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, Takeru copying him after a moment. The two of them breathed together and after a few repetitions Takeru looked less winded. He took a couple more breaths before sighing, dropping his head.

“...I’m fine. I’m good.” He swallowed, eyes tracing Yusaku’s face. His expression pinched. “I’m so...so sorry I hit you, I--I was dreaming of that-- _ monster _ and when you touched me my first instinct was to lash out.” He sniffed, new tears appeared at the corner of his eyes, his lower lip trembling. “I should have told you before that could happen I--I--”

“It’s fine.” Yusaku insisted, running his thumb over Takeru’s pulse in calm circles. “It was a stupid move to try and touch you in the middle of a nightmare. I’m sorry.”

“It’s _not_ fine--.” Takeru grit his teeth, tears spilling again. “I _hurt_ you, I didn’t--I _forgot_ you were next to me--All I could see was _that thing_ \--” He inhaled shakily. “Dammit. I’m s-supposed to be _over_ _this_!”

Yusaku sighed. He knew that feeling. “You know that’s not how it works, Takeru.”

Takeru sniffed again, shoulders hunching. His expression was frustrated, defeated as he huffed. “...I know. But I wish it was.” 

Yusaku let go off Takeru’s wrists, rising both hands to wipe the tears that had rolled down his cheeks, cupping his face. “Me too.” His voice was a quiet mumble, gaze understanding as Takeru’s eyes met his again.

Even if they both longed for the trauma from their pasts to let them go completely, they both knew it wasn’t that simple. Even as they pushed forwards, found new ways to cope with all the pain and hurt of that incident, it would always leave a mark, like a vase that was broken and put back together; it’d never be the same, and the cracks were proof of that.

Takeru slumped forwards against him, head dropping on his shoulder. Yusaku took that as queue to place his arms around him and after a moment he felt Takeru doing the same, hands clutching at his shirt. Yusaku rubbed slow circles on his back, knocking the side of his face against the top of Takeru’s head.

His eyes instinctively peered up and he saw Flame standing atop Takeru’s duel disk on the table, his expression pinched. Ai too was peering over at them worriedly, quiet for once. 

Yusaku whispered something in Takeru’s ear, a question, and at Takeru’s nod of confirmation, he disentangled them for a moment to stand and walk over to the desk. Both AIs blinked as Yusaku grabbed the Duel Disks and brought them over with him, sitting back down on the futon and handing his to Takeru.

“Takeru.” Flame muttered as Takeru accepted the Duel Disk, small hands already rising for his face. Yusaku felt like he was intruding on a private moment, as Takeru lifted the Disk up and lowered his face, letting Flame’s small hands hold his cheeks and rest their foreheads together, both their eyes falling shut. It was a simple, comfort gesture but that spoke volumes of their trust for each other, of how often Flame was there to witness Takeru’s nightmares.

“I’m okay.” Takeru said, his brow relaxing, slow smile pulling at his lips. “It’s fine.”

Yusaku didn’t say anything, letting them have their moment, and for a few more seconds it’s silent. Ai tugging at his sleeve made Yusaku look down at him though. The AI pointed towards the other pair.

“Yusaku, why are we never like  _ that? _ ”

So much for being quiet. Yusaku sighed deeply and heard Takeru and Flame chuckling, both turning towards them.

“Jealous, Ai?” Flame asked with mirth in his eyes and Ai pouted.

“Not !! Me and Yusaku have our own cute gestures together !! ”

“You mean how you cling to my face?” Yusaku provided, much to Ai’s huffing.

“I’m  _ hugging  _ you!” 

“Right.” Yusaku subtly rolled his eyes, but he brought a finger to poke Ai’s head. “Don’t be jealous then--”

“Am not !!!”

“--because I don’t mind it.”

“Eh?”

“You’re clingy. But I don’t mind it.” Read:  _ I like our own thing _ . It seemed to be enough invitation for Ai to wrap himself around his finger in what could be called a hug.

“Yusakuuuu!”

He wriggled his finger a bit but let the AI cling to him as he looked up at Takeru, who was eyeing them with amusement of his own along with Flame.

“ _ Cute _ .” Takeru teased and Yusaku frowned at him, cheeks feeling a little warm.

“You don’t get to comment.”

Takeru snickered, before his face fell again a little after a moment. He scooted over to Yusaku, eyeing his cheek and tentatively bringing the pads of his fingers to it. “...Does it hurt?”

Yusaku fought the urge to wince when Takeru touched the bruise, pressing his lips together. 

“Not much.”

“Don’t lie.”

“It’s not that bad. I’ll put ice on it in the morning.”

“You should be putting ice on it  _ right now _ .” Takeru pouted, letting his Duel Disk rest on the futon as he stood. “Hold on.”

“I can--” He didn’t even give time for Yusaku to protest as he headed for the kitchen. 

“Let him.” Flame spoke quietly, looking on towards the kitchen. “He can’t help feeling guilty.”

Yusaku understood why, but there was no need for Takeru to be. It had been Yusaku’s carelessness that had landed him that hit. He didn’t get to retort anything to flame as Takeru came back, sitting back in front of him and pressing a cool compress to Yusaku’s injured cheek. He flinched a little at the sudden cold.

“Sorry--”

“It’s fine.” Yusaku lifted his hand, resting it over Takeru’s to hold the compress in place. He met Takeru’s gaze. “Really.”

Takeru huffed sullenly, clearly not convinced. He let his hand fall away from Yusaku’s cheek, letting him hold the compress, and slid over to his other side, arms wrapping around Yusaku’s middle and burying his face on his shoulder. Yusaku brought his free hand to tangle in his hair.

“Takeru.” He called softly after a moment, nudging the top of Takeru’s hair with his nose. Takeru’s arms around him tightened before he sighed, shoulders sagging.

“I thought I was over it.” He began in a mumble. “Even put on an act in front of Blood Shepherd to make him think I wasn’t. I was fine--I _ really was fine _ during that duel.” He emphasized his words, like he needed to convince someone that it was true. Yusaku believed him.

“I thought I was over it before that duel, too. It--It’s been so long since--since I dreamed of it so strongly.” His hands fiddled with Yusaku’s shirt. “But I guess I’m still just a  _ kid _ scared of some  _ monster _ .”

“You know it’s not just that.” Yusaku said. It wasn’t just a monster; in Takeru’s case, it was what symbolised the Lost Incident for him. It was the thing that reminded him of those long six months, trapped and unable to do anything.

“I thought I’d be over it too.” Yusaku continued, hanging his head. “After what happened with Hanoi. I...had been so determined to move forwards. To put everything behind me.” He dropped his head atop Takeru’s.

“But some things--stay. I still get nightmares. Some things still trigger memories of the Incident.” He glanced down at his Duel Disk, Ai looking back at him but saying nothing again. “I...haven’t dueled outside of Link Vrains in  _ years _ . I don’t know if I  _ can _ .” He shut his eyes. “I’m still scared, too, Takeru.”

Takeru sniffed against his shoulder. Yusaku put the compress away in favor of turning around in Takeru’s hold and wrapping both his arms around Takeru too. He pulled him down on the futon with him, hand caressing his back.

“You are scared but you still try your best, Yusaku.” Takeru lifted his head enough to look at him. He was smiling a little, eyes glistening. “I always liked that about you.”

“You always do your best, too.” Yusaku brushed Takeru’s hair back and kissed his forehead. “You wouldn’t be here if you hadn't chosen to move forwards too.”

“That’s thanks to you.  _ You  _ inspired  _ me _ .” Yusaku shook his head at the words.

“It was all you.  _ You _ made the choice to stand up again.” He held Takeru closer, knocking their foreheads together, green eyes meeting lilac with intensity. “I’m proud of you, Takeru.”

Takeru’s eyes widened and he blushed, stammering a reply. “I--Thank you…” His gaze falls from Yusaku’s eyes to his lips, then quickly away, seemingly embarrassed. For someone who had no trouble complimenting others, Takeru sure did get sheepish when someone tried to do the same.

Yusaku leaned closer, pressing a short peck to Takeru’s lips. It was enough to get him to look at him, blinking. 

“I mean it.” He breathed against his lips. “I’m proud of you. And I’m happy you are here, right now.” He shifted his legs so they were comfortably tangled with Takeru’s, smiling softly at him. “With me.”

Takeru smiled back, eyes creasing at the corners. He nuzzled Yusaku’s nose with his own. “I’m happy to be with you, too.” 

It didn’t erase all the pain and suffering they’d gone through. It didn’t always stop the nightmares, it didn’t heal the cracks that were already there. But having each other, they could be together through it, as they put the pieces back together, as they kept trying to move forwards. 

A broken vase would never be the same when put back together but it didn’t mean it couldn’t still be beautiful. It didn’t mean it no longer had room for flowers in it.

“Hey, hey, are you guys gonna get all _ mushy _ ?” Ai piped up teasingly. After so much silence from them, Yusaku almost forgot the Duel Disks were on the futon. “Can we join in? Or should we leave?” 

Takeru chuckled, throwing Yusaku a questioning look. Yusaku just sighed, disentangling himself from Takeru for a moment to sit up, grabbing both Duel Disks and flopping back down, letting them rest between him and Takeru on the futon. 

“As long as you behave.” He warned Ai, who just snickered, holding onto Yusaku’s finger again when he lifted it to poke him. Yusaku let him. He caught the moment Flame made grabby hands at Takeru and how Takeru brought the Duel Disk closer. 

“Think you’ll be able to sleep?” He asked in a murmur and Takeru hummed, looking from Flame to Yusaku, offering a nod a small smile. Yusaku reached behind them to turn off the lamp, but Takeru’s hand stopped him.

“Can...we leave it on? Just this once.” Yusaku just nodded, letting Takeru pull his hand back and rest it together with his between their bodies, curling his pinky around Yusaku’s. “Thanks.”

Yusaku tangled their legs again, hooking his ankle over Takeru’s. Yusaku wasn’t always cuddly for sleeping--it could get too stuffy and warm, and he’d eventually want to move. But he didn’t mind it all the same, this closeness, with Takeru, with the Ignises between them. And it seemed that Takeru found all the more comfort in it, so Yusaku wasn’t planning on pulling away any time soon.

Takeru kissed his bruised cheek, like another silent apology, before burying his face in Yusaku’s shoulder. “‘Night, Yusaku.”

Yusaku pressed his lips to the top of his head, reaching over to properly grasp Takeru’s hand. He squeezed it and got a small squeeze in return.

_ ‘I’m here’. ‘I know’.  _

Yusaku closed his eyes.

“Good night, Takeru.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also at
> 
> moonlights0nata on tumblr  
> @moons0nata (main) and @pocketwriting (wips/ideas) on twitter


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